Boundaries & Saying “No”
As I mentioned above, I am a people-pleaser and have trouble taking on too much.
In my 4th year as a counselor, I burned myself out…I was coaching, running clubs, chaperoning all the things, and also took on a huge building level initiative on establishing Community Values in our school. It was way too much but I kept telling myself I needed to take these projects on and that I just had to work harder.
I wish I could say there was one day that it finally became clear I was doing this, but this lesson was learned slowly over time. I was less present with my family, couldn’t sustain a dating life, was miserable and tired all the time, and impatient with students at school.
I wasn’t being the person I wanted to be but was convinced I just wasn’t working hard enough. I think the pandemic helped me really slow down and re-evaluate things, but if I’m being honest, I knew there was a problem way before that.
Fast forward to now, I still have a lot of those same tendencies, but I’m much more aware of them and HAVE gotten better at saying “no”. I also treat myself with much more kindness and compassion vs. being hard on myself.
As one of my friends bluntly but correctly stated, “You’re never going to hate yourself to success.” I’m glad to say it’s getting easier and easier to choose kindness.