If I am holding a bee, what do I have in my eye?
Answer: Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder (bee holder).
What has cities, but no houses; forests, but no trees; and water, but no fish?
Answer: A map.
You’re escaping a maze, and there are three doors in front of you. The door on the left leads to a pit of lava. The door in the center leads to a room filled with deadly gas. The door on the right leads to a lion that hasn’t eaten in three months. Which door do you choose?
Answer: The door on the right. A lion that hasn’t eaten in three months would be dead.
The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who purchases it does not use it. The person who does use it does not know he or she is. What is it?
Answer: A coffin.
Paul’s height is six feet, he’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop, and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Fourteen of the kids in the class are girls. Eight of the kids wear blue shirts. Two of the kids are neither girls or wear a blue shirt. If five of the kids are girls who wear blue shirts, how many kids are in the class?
A man was walking in the rain. He was in the middle of nowhere. He had nothing and nowhere to hide. He came home all wet, but not a single hair on his head was wet. Why is that?
Answer: The man was bald.
An old man dies, leaving behind two sons.
In his will, he orders his sons to race with their horses, and the one with the slower horse will receive his inheritance.
The two sons race, but since they’re both holding their horses back, they go to a wise man and ask him what they should do.
After that, the brothers race again — this time, at full speed.
What did the wise man tell them?
Answer: If they switch horses, whoever wins the race will get the inheritance because they still technically own the losing (that is, the slower) horse.
I am the beginning of sorrow and the end of sickness. You cannot express happiness without me yet I am in the midst of crosses. I am always in risk yet never in danger. You may find me in the sun, but I am never out of darkness.
Answer: The letter S.
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Your parents have six sons including you and each son has one sister. How many people are in the family?
Answer: Nine—two parents, six sons, and one daughter.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Michael J. Fox has a short one. Madonna does not use hers. Bill Clinton always uses his. The Pope never uses his. What is it?
Answer: Their surname.
What makes this number unique: 8,549,176,320?
Answer: It has each number, zero through nine, listed in alphabetical order.
A man stands on one side of a river, his dog on the other. The man calls his dog, who immediately crosses the river without getting wet and without using a bridge or a boat. How did the dog do it?
Answer: The river was frozen.
What is special about these words: job, polish, herb?
Answer: They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized.
Forrest left home running. He ran a ways and then turned left, ran the same distance and turned left again, ran the same distance and turned left again. When he got home, there were two masked men. Who were they?
Answer: The catcher and the umpire.
A man is looking at a photograph of someone. His friend asks who it is. The man replies, “Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s son.” Who was in the photograph?
Answer: His son.
I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear?
Answer: White. The only place you can hike 3 miles south, then east for 3 miles, then north for 3 miles and end up back at your starting point is the North Pole. Polar bears are the only bears that live at the North Pole, and they are white.
You are in a room that has three switches and a closed door. The switches control three light bulbs on the other side of the door. Once you open the door, you may never touch the switches again. How can you definitively tell which switch is connected to each of the light bulbs?
Answer: Turn on the first two switches. Leave them on for five minutes. Once five minutes has passed, turn off the second switch, leaving one switch on. Now go through the door. The light that is still on is connected to the first switch. Whichever of the other two is warm to the touch is connected to the second switch. The bulb that is cold is connected to the switch that was never turned on.
A man pushes his car to a hotel and tells the owner he’s bankrupt. Why?
Answer: He’s playing Monopoly.