It’s almost PSL season. You can smell the spice in the air. So in honor of fall, let’s talk about coffee, from one basic b*tch to another.
I love coffee. Espresso after dinner in Spain, cafΓ© de la olla in Mexico, 7-11 coffee with those little hazelnut creamers that are so bad for me and taste so good. I’m a coffee girly.
I’m also the person who opens one of those coffee explainer charts, gets overwhelmed by the tiny cup diagrams, closes it, and orders the same thing I always do.
So as the sophisticated adult I yearn to become, I finally sorted it out. It’s way simpler than those charts make it look.
It really comes down to three things
Every espresso drink is the same couple of ingredients arranged three ways. Instead of memorizing a menu, ask three questions about the cup in front of you:
- What kind of coffee is it? A shot of espresso, or regular brewed coffee?
- What got added? Steamed milk, a cap of foam, a splash of water, or some combination?
- What’s the ratio? Mostly coffee, half and half, or mostly milk?
Answer those and you know exactly what you’re holding.
The milk drinks, strongest to mildest
Picture a dial. One end is a tiny cup that’s almost all espresso with a splash of milk. The other is a big glass that’s mostly milk with one shot hiding in it. Every drink below is a point on that dial.
CortadoΒ (1:1 espresso to milk): A small glass, half espresso and half steamed milk, one even caramel color top to bottom, no real foam. Small, warm, and strong.
Flat whiteΒ (1:2 espresso to milk): A little bigger, a bit more milk, and a thin glossy layer of microfoam on top (this is the one with the pretty latte art). Still coffee forward, just silkier.
CappuccinoΒ (1:1:1 espresso, milk, foam): Equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and a tall fluffy cap of foam you could almost spoon. Airy and light on the tongue.
LatteΒ (1:3 espresso to milk): The big pale one. Mostly steamed milk, one shot of espresso, a thin layer of foam. The mildest and creamiest of the bunch.
Latte macchiatoΒ (1:3 espresso to milk, layered not mixed): The showoff. Served in a tall clear glass so you can see the stripes, white milk on the bottom, a dark band of espresso poured through the middle, foam on top.
And aΒ cafΓ© au lait?Β LiterallyΒ French for coffee with milk. It’s equal parts brewed coffee and steamed milk in a wide cup, and it’s the one drink here that skips the espresso entirely.
The cold ones
Iced coffeeΒ is brewed hot, then cooled and poured over ice.
Cold brewΒ is a different animal. It steeps in cold water for 12 hours or more, so it comes out smoother and [LINK SLOT 1: less acidic] than hot brewed.
NitroΒ is that cold brew charged with nitrogen, so it pours frothy and cascading. Basically the Guinness of coffee.
Layered vs. mixed iced lattes:Β I’ve always loved my iced lattes layered and hated them pre-stirred. I thought that was just a bad coffee shop. Turns out I love the βflavor progression,β that first hit of milk or syrup before the espresso catches up. Which explains the [LINK SLOT 2: iced latte macchiato] obsession.
So, how’d you do? Next time you walk up to the counter, skip your usual. Order the thing you actually want, now that you can actually name it.
Preferably with a little cinnamon on top.

Thania (TA Content Mgr)