Several years ago I worked for an organization going through a major transition in terms of leadership. We were on our second interim CEO.
On one occasion, I was included in a meeting along with 3 other colleagues.
Our CEO asked me a question and I let him know that I was working on a solution with his assistant and that she had written him an email during our last meeting outlining a plan of next steps along with a completion date.
This leader started to raise his voice, and accused me of being passive aggressive. In an attempt to explain myself I replied, “I’m not being passive aggressive, I just…” he interrupted, “YES YOU ARE”.
I share this experience to highlight that I know firsthand how difficult it is to be misunderstood, especially when someone accuses you of something you genuinely didn’t do, or misinterprets an action in a way you couldn’t have foreseen.
Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar.
Perhaps you’re feeling unheard or misunderstood.
If you’re feeling this way due to a miscommunication or lack of communication, it may do some good to sit down with the other party and iron it out.
In the example I just gave, I realized rather quickly that this particular CEO wasn’t looking for an explanation, but rather someone to blame. It would have done no good to try and have a conversation with him.
I had to let him be wrong about me.
Over the years, as someone who has dared to put her ideas out into the world, I’ve had plenty of opportunity to embrace the growth required to let others think what they will:
- I’ve confronted my inner people pleaser.
- I learned what it means to sit in discomfort and process through feeling misunderstood.
- I’ve had to realize that attempting to control someone’s opinion of me essentially means that I’m attempting to control them.
These are hard lessons to learn, but they are SO worth it. I no longer live in fear of being misunderstood, which means I’m able to share more of myself at a deeper level.