YOU DO YOU
Accept your awesomeness
Genetic predispositions, past experiences, core personality, and a dizzying array of other factors often result in a topsy-turvy perception of reality: People who achieve a lot feel inadequate and vice versa.
If you have a hard time accepting and believing the positive feedback you receive, then you may want to examine why.
Here are some ideas for pivoting your automatic negative reactions to compliments and positive feedback.
Scenario 1: Someone gives you positive feedback and you say: Oh, I just threw it together! Really, it’s nothing at all.
When you say this, you’re reducing not only your good work, but also your colleague’s thoughtful praise.
Pivot: Focus on the skill that earned you the compliment.
Say something like this instead: Thank you! I’m pleased with how it turned out. What specifically stood out to you?
This shifts the focus of the compliment from what makes you uncomfortable (attention on you) to information you find useful (the specific skill(s) you demonstrated).
Scenario 2: Someone gives you positive feedback and you think: Nope.
You react with negativity the instant you hear a positive comment.
Pivot: Breathe. Allow yourself to really consider the feedback.
One therapist tells her clients to sit with the compliment for at least three seconds and then reflect on how it makes them feel.
“We work slowly, noticing where they feel the discomfort in their body, noticing what it feels like to hear a compliment from a person they trust, and also noticing the compassion for them, from me, the person giving the compliment,” she says.
Scenario 3: Someone gives you positive feedback and you think: Aggh! The compliment feels good, but what if I can’t repeat my success?
Pivot: Stoke the spark of joy you get from hearing the compliment.
Share gratitude for the compliment. Then think of three reasons the feedback is true. Ignoring or invalidating positive feedback repeatedly could make it harder and harder for you to absorb any happiness from it.
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Burnout sucks
Recognized as an “occupational phenomenon,” by the World Health Organization, burnout may feel like someone cut your strings, leaving you with no capability (or even motivation) to stand let alone do anything productive.
Look out for these symptoms to stay ahead of your burnout:
The symptoms:
- Daydreaming on the job
- Wishing you were doing anything except work
Try: Self compassion exercises (and/or a vacation)
The symptoms:
- Lethargy and sleepiness (No matter how much coffee you drink)
- Difficulty focusing
- Changes in posture, resulting in back aches and pains
Try: Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) exercises (and/or a vacation)
The symptoms:
- Missing deadlines
- Deepening apathy
- Chronic negativity (in thoughts, words, and actions)
Try: Seek support, and talk it out, with a trusted friend, colleague, loved one, or therapist.
Bottom line: Burnout rarely, if ever, goes away on its own. Reflecting on the source of your burnout could help you determine your unique cure, but if all else fails, taking a vacation or stay-cation is almost always a good choice.
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LEVEL UP
Synergy without proximity
Need to create synergy across offices, companies, teams, or even campuses?
Here are some strategies that have worked for others:
Strategy 1: Since you can’t be together, refocus your efforts around “thinking” together
“We simply have to be more playful and allow others to break the rules of how we meet together in order to stimulate our individual and collective brains to enter the space where we can collaborate,” says CEO/author Angie McArthur.
Strategy 2: Decide, as a group, why collaboration and synergy are important and worth an investment of time
“What is the common reason that entering into this collaboration is worth your time? Finding that, and keeping that in the forefront, is critical,” says McArthur.
Reading recommendation: Get more wisdom McArther and her co-author Dawna Markova in Collaborative Intelligence: Thinking with People Who Think Differently and Reconcilable Differences: Connecting in a Disconnected World
Strategy 3: Have purposeful meetings
Communication and connection is crucial for distributed teams and companies, but rote meetings do not achieve this.
“Meetings should have a clear goal and all members should be asked to contribute,” say expert contributors to Penn State’s Cultural Leadership blog.
Strategy 4: Be supportive and create supportive networks
Formalized connections, including team-building events and meetings, can only go so far in building authentic feelings of support. Casual check-ins, even for no specific reason, effectively foster these small-but-mighty vibes.
“A successful hybrid system is based on a culture of support and respect, so it’s important to ensure that support is accessible to all the team,” say the bloggers at Koe’sister.
Strategy 5: Track and curtail work redundancies
There will be times in any office or team when, tragically, two or more people realize they’ve been toiling separately on the same project or goal. Remote or hybrid teams run a greater risk of duplicate work since it’s difficult to keep track of who is doing what and when. However, putting the extra effort into tracking and eliminating redundancies will be priceless to team morale.
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