Weekender #137

💼 Side Hustle: Learn how to grow your side hustle.

🎯 Goals: Use these SMART goal templates to create a life you really want.

🎨 Home: Discover the best color combinations for small rooms.

💖 Dating: Dating while being a single mom to young kids is complicated.

👠 Fashion: Find the best heels for wide feet that you can wear all day.

🎵 Wake up, wake up, it’s the first of the month.

And it’s also the start of Pride Month! A month dedicated to celebrating and supporting our LGBTQIA+ community.

Each Weekender this month, we’ll do a subscriber spotlight where people can share their own journeys. If you’d like to participate, share your story here.

I’ve personally had 3 of my best friends come out to me and I still remember each time like it was yesterday.

It truly is a special moment when a loved one feels safe enough to trust you with their true self, and it’s an honor to be part of their journey.

Recently, I caught up with one of them — Kailee, who I’ve known since I was in Kindergarten — about her journey on coming out and I can’t believe how much I didn’t know about her journey.

Here are some tidbits from our hour-long catch up:

J: When did you know that you were queer?

K: I think I always knew, but I didn’t know a lot of queer people (note: Kailee and I attended a private Catholic elementary/middle school and at most had 30 kids in our class).

When I went to a public high school and was exposed to a lot of different people, that’s when I really knew.

J: Who did you first come out to?

K: My mom and dad. Unfortunately, for me, it wasn’t by choice. It was earlier than I wanted to.

J: Oh, really? Why is that?

K: Because my girlfriend and I were caught. We had dated secretly for 6 months.

My parents are the most accepting people, but they were blindsided and just reacted.

I was grounded for 2 weeks and was told I couldn’t see her anymore.

They eventually came around, and so did my girlfriend’s family, and we started slowly coming out to other family and friends after that.

J: What was your process like coming out to friends — did you see that as your opportunity to come out on your own terms?

K: I became a little more introspective after the way my parents found out.

I really thought about who I wanted to tell and what I wanted to tell them; it caused me to take a step back in that process and it took me a little longer.

The next people we told were her sisters because we were all one big friend group.

I told them, “Ya, so I’m dating your sister.” Pretty much their responses were, “Yeah we already knew.”

J: I’ve had the same response to another friend who came out to me — is that at all a negative thing to hear when you’re coming out?

K: I wouldn’t say it’s negative, but you’re just like, “Why have I been putting so much pressure on myself to have this conversation when you’re response is just ‘Yeah, great.’”

And the person doesn’t understand you’ve probably been having a melt down for the past 3 weeks to get the courage to even tell them this.

So it’s not negative — you hope that they would react positively like that — but you build this up in your mind for it to just come out and be like…“Cool. Alright. Well, now what?”

J: I remember you were dating a guy in high school for some time — at that point were you actually attracted to him and maybe even thinking you were bisexual?

K: We were on and off for 2 years.

I thought I liked him my freshman year, but by my sophomore year, I already knew I was fully into girls.

I was starting to have experiences with girls, and so I dated him as more of a cover.

J: When you came out to me, how did you feel leading up to it?

K: There’s always some anticipation and nervousness whenever you jump into this experience.

Because even if you’ve known this person your whole life, realistically, they can have different views than you, and you’re worried this would cause someone to not like you.

You were one of the first friends I told and I obviously hoped it would be a positive interaction because nothing in our friendship would have caused me to think otherwise.

And when I told you, I approached it very casually and didn’t build it up into this whole thing.

J: Yeah you just sort of said, “Hey, see that girl. She’s my girlfriend.”

K: Haha, exactly.

So to have a positive experience with you, it just helps bolster who you are in yourself, and where you belong in the queer community.

Each one of those is like another little block to step on.

J: Have you ever lost anyone in your life because you came out to them?

K: I’ve never lost anyone, but some of my family didn’t come to my wedding, and my wife’s family was unaccepting at first.

They told me straight to my face, “You’re a good person, but we just don’t agree that you should be together.”

So I’ve had those interactions where people have stepped away, and I was like, “You know, if you don’t want to be in my life, that’s fine. I’m not going to attempt to have you in my life because you don’t like me anyway.”

But all of those people have come back around.

J: For somebody who is considering or planning to come out, what advice would you give them?

K: I think that in 2024, there are so many more resources out there.

You can find a community online without ever having to involve your family at the forefront if you don’t want to.

And it’s definitely a journey. The person I am now is not who I was 10, 15 years ago.

So I think you just have to learn to find that inner happiness and appreciate who you are, because that person can then cultivate a positive relationship for other queer people.

Just take your time and really sit with your feelings to understand who you are — don’t rush it.

 

Joanna Ericta (Co-founder of TA)

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From grilling to chilling, we’ve got you covered for unforgettable backyard gatherings.

Get ready to host the ultimate summer bash with these must-have items:

• • BBQ Tools: Grill like a pro with this BBQ tool set.
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  • String Lights: Create a cozy ambiance with these solar-powered string lights.
  • Outdoor Fireplace: Stay warm and add elegance with this propane outdoor fire table.
  • Acrylic Whiskey Glasses: Enjoy your drinks without worrying about breakage with these acrylic whiskey glasses.