How to Advocate for Yourself at Work (Without Feeling Like a Total Jerk)

The Assist Newsletter
January 6, 2025

You’re the problem solver, the organizer, the one who steps in to make sure everything stays on track. You manage calendars, budgets, events, and probably even the office coffee crisis – all while keeping your own projects in check.

Your work shapes the success of your team and company, but sometimes the spotlight feels far away. Recognition, promotions, or new opportunities don’t always flow your way as effortlessly as your contributions deserve.

The truth is that advocating for yourself at work opens doors that might otherwise stay closed. You already have the skills. Now it’s time to ensure others recognize them too.

 

The Power of Self-Advocacy in Shaping Your Career

Advocating for yourself is about taking ownership of your career path and ensuring your contributions align with your long-term goals. Self-advocacy is the bridge between where you are and where you want to be.

Women often wait for their work to “speak for itself,” believing their efforts will naturally attract attention. However, this mindset may lead to being overlooked. Advocacy ensures your voice is part of the conversation when promotions, raises, or new projects are being discussed.

A Harvard Business Review study revealed that employees who consistently self-advocate are 25% more likely to receive leadership opportunities. This highlights the importance of speaking up regularly, even during less formal moments like team meetings or one-on-ones.

 

Understanding Why Women Struggle to Self-Advocate

Why does self-advocacy feel difficult for so many women in professional settings?

Social conditioning plays a major role. From an early age, women are often encouraged to be humble, cooperative, and accommodating. These qualities, while valuable, can sometimes clash with the assertiveness required to advocate effectively.

In the workplace, this manifests as:

  • Downplaying accomplishments.
  • Hesitating to ask for raises or promotions.
  • Avoiding conflict, even if it means extra work.

This hesitation can lead to burnout, resentment, or the belief that hard work alone will lead to recognition. Breaking this cycle starts with understanding your worth and communicating it confidently.

 

Building Confidence by Owning Your Wins

A significant aspect of self-advocacy involves acknowledging and vocalizing your achievements. This is not about boasting – it’s about creating a record of the value you bring to your organization.

1. Keep a “Brag File”

One of the most powerful tools for self-advocacy is a running list of accomplishments. Anytime you receive positive feedback, hit a milestone, or complete a challenging project, document it.

For example:

  • “Led the successful launch of X project, resulting in a 20% increase in user engagement.”
  • “Organized annual company event attended by 300+ clients, improving client retention rates by 15%.”

During performance reviews or raise discussions, this file will serve as evidence of your impact.

2. Speak About Achievements in Team Meetings

Instead of waiting for someone to highlight your efforts, integrate your successes into regular conversations.

For instance, during a meeting, you could say:
“I’d like to share the results from the client engagement campaign I led last month. We exceeded our goals by 25%, and the client feedback has been extremely positive.”

This increases visibility and sets the precedent that your contributions matter.

 

Mastering the Art of Speaking Up in Meetings

Meetings offer an incredible platform for advocacy – yet the loudest voices in the room often dominate them. It’s essential to carve out space for your ideas and insights.

1. Come Prepared

Preparation breeds confidence. Before every meeting, review the agenda and identify areas where you can contribute. Reflect on recent projects or challenges that align with discussion topics.

2. Jump In Early

Waiting too long to speak can sometimes result in losing the opportunity altogether. Aim to contribute within the first 10 minutes of the meeting.

A simple way to ease in might be:
“I’ve been reflecting on the project timeline, and I have a suggestion for improving efficiency.”

3. Ask Questions to Drive the Conversation

Even if you don’t have a fully formed idea to present, asking thoughtful questions signals engagement and leadership.
Examples include:

  • “How are we tracking progress against last quarter’s goals?”
  • “Would it be helpful if I led the follow-up on this?”

These interactions subtly reinforce your value and willingness to take initiative.

 

Advocating for Promotions and Pay Raises

Promotions and pay raises rarely happen without direct requests. While your work may speak volumes, pairing that effort with clear communication accelerates the process.

1. Timing Is Everything

Advocating for a raise or promotion works best when timed with:

  • Performance reviews.
  • After completing a major project.
  • Following successful quarters.

2. Frame It Around Value

Instead of focusing on personal needs (e.g., “I need a raise because of increased expenses”), emphasize your contributions:
“Over the past year, I’ve taken on additional responsibilities and led three successful initiatives, resulting in increased revenue. I’d love to discuss how I can grow further in the company.”

Backing up your request with data and concrete examples boosts your credibility.

 

Creating Boundaries to Manage Workload

One of the most overlooked aspects of self-advocacy is learning how to say no without guilt.

1. Why Boundaries Matter

When you consistently take on more than your fair share, your performance suffers and can lead to burnout. Effective leaders set boundaries while maintaining professionalism.

2. How to Frame Boundaries Positively

Rather than outright rejecting a task, frame boundaries in terms of priorities:
“I’d love to take this on, but my focus right now is on Project A. I can revisit this in two weeks or delegate part of it to ensure it’s handled sooner.”

This approach demonstrates responsibility while protecting your workload.

 

Building a Support System of Advocates

Self-advocacy isn’t a solo mission. Building a network of mentors, allies, and sponsors increases your influence and opens new doors.

1. Identify Champions Within the Organization

Seek out individuals in leadership roles who recognize your potential. Regular check-ins with these mentors help align your growth with company objectives.

2. Reciprocal Advocacy

Advocate for your colleagues and recognize their achievements. This creates an environment where others feel encouraged to advocate for you in return.

“I want to highlight the incredible work that Sarah did on the client acquisition strategy. Her insights helped secure two major contracts.”

When advocacy becomes part of your leadership style, it creates a ripple effect throughout the organization.

 

Sharpening Negotiation Skills

Negotiation is a critical skill for advocating for raises, project leadership, or flexibility.

1. Do Your Research

Before entering negotiations, research industry salary benchmarks and company standards. Come prepared with market data and relevant comparisons.

2. Roleplay Negotiations

Practice negotiating with a friend, mentor, or coach. The more comfortable you are articulating your value, the smoother the conversation will flow.

 

Fostering Continuous Growth and Development

Ongoing development strengthens your case when advocating for higher roles. Seek certifications, enroll in leadership courses, and stay ahead of industry trends.

A growth-oriented professional signals leadership readiness, making advocacy easier and more natural.

 

Final Thoughts: Take Charge of Your Career

Self-advocacy is not a single action but a continuous process of communication, growth, and boundary-setting. Each step, whether highlighting small wins or negotiating for leadership roles, reinforces your professional worth.

By consistently advocating for your skills and contributions, you will pave the way for personal success and the success of others within your organization.

 

People Also Ask These Questions About How to Advocate for Yourself at Work

Q: How Do I Advocate for Myself Without Coming Across as Arrogant?

A: Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean bragging or diminishing others. The key is to focus on facts and results rather than personal opinions about your performance.

Frame your contributions around the value they provide to the company. For example:

  • Instead of “I’m great at project management,” try:
    “The project I led was completed two weeks early, resulting in a 15% cost savings for the department.”

Another effective strategy is to highlight team achievements while subtly including your role:
“I’m proud of how our team collaborated on this project. I led the scheduling and logistics, which helped us meet tight deadlines.”

Keeping the focus on outcomes and collaboration strikes the perfect balance between confidence and humility.

Q: How Can I Ask for a Raise Without Feeling Uncomfortable?

A: The best way to ask for a raise is to prepare thoroughly and approach the conversation with confidence.

  1. Document Your Achievements – Create a list of your accomplishments, new responsibilities, and how your work has positively impacted the company.
  2. Research Salary Benchmarks – Use resources like Glassdoor or industry reports to gather data on competitive salaries for your role.
  3. Frame the Request Around Value – Position your request by linking it to your contributions:
    “Over the past year, I’ve taken on additional leadership responsibilities and streamlined operations, resulting in a 20% efficiency increase. I’d love to discuss aligning my compensation with the value I bring.”

Practicing with a friend or mentor helps reduce discomfort and increases your confidence during the actual conversation.

Q: What Should I Do if My Manager Overlooks My Contributions?

A: If your manager consistently overlooks your work, it’s important to proactively ensure your contributions are visible.

  • Regular Updates – Send biweekly or monthly emails summarizing your completed tasks, project milestones, and positive feedback. This serves as a reminder of your efforts.
  • Seek Feedback – Ask for direct feedback on your performance. Use this as an opportunity to mention specific projects or results you’re proud of.
  • Request One-on-One Meetings – During these meetings, openly discuss your career goals and seek advice on how to grow within the company.

A subtle but effective approach might sound like:
“I wanted to touch base and share progress on the recent project. The adjustments I implemented reduced errors by 30%, and I’d love to hear your feedback on other areas where I can contribute.”

Proactive communication ensures your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed.

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