OG Tuesday Issue #149

YOU DO YOU

No More Shame on You

The American Psychological Association defines shame as follows: A highly unpleasant self-conscious emotion arising from the sense of there being something dishonorable, immodest, or indecorous in one’s own conduct or circumstances.

As kids, many of us probably heard (and rolled our eyes at the accompanying finger wagging) the classic “shame on you” after doing something “bad,” such as stealing our sibling’s candy. As adults, many of us might be, even subconsciously, shaming ourselves for doing things that aren’t so “bad” at all.

We shame ourselves for missing deadlines, breaking resolutions, forgetting birthdays—for being imperfect.

Shame may seem corrective, like motivation for self-improvement, but it rarely is. It may lead to feeling fundamentally flawed, inadequate, or wrong, a state-of-mind that zaps motivation. (What’s the point of trying anything when you believe you’re defective?)

Here are some ways you can work toward becoming shameless:

Listen carefully to your inner critic.
After you do something you’re not happy about, completely botching an interview for example, that harsh inner voice might say something like, “I’m not surprised. You screw up everything.”

Instead of focusing on what you could do differently next time, the voice speaks in absolute statements about what you are. Force it to focus instead on what you can do. For example: “Forgetting what position I was interviewing for was humiliating, so next time, I will spend more time preparing.”

Focus on actual consequences, the “so what?”
Consider the situation, and ask “so what?” The issue might not be quite as bad as it seems in your head.

Let’s go back to the botched interview example. Shame might make you worry that you’ll “never ever get a job because you just suck.”

Take a moment to consider if that’s true. Aren’t the actual consequences of messing up one interview simply not getting one job?

Practice self compassion by considering what you might say to a friend or loved one going through the same situation.
Say the words aloud or write them down. For example: “Even though you made some mistakes throughout this interview process, it has no reflection on who you are. I know you are a bright, competent, and creative person.”

Talk through your feelings of shame.
Usually, feeling shame makes people want to hide. Hiding may seem like a way to protect yourself, but really, it’s just a way to protect your shame. It may be counterintuitive, but telling someone else about the shame you’re feeling can help you recognize its irrationality.

If you forget every other tip, at least remember this one golden rule: Never apologize for who you are.

Avoid awkward money moments at the office 😱

GET MORE SH*T DONE

Court the muse

While there’s no single process for being creative, there are certain thinking patterns and tendencies that show up repeatedly when people are engaged in creative work. Some believe these patterns indicate universal creative thinking styles. Others have criticized the idea of thinking styles and encouraged techniques for creative exploration instead.

Just as there’s no single process for being creative, there’s also no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to being creative. The only “right” is what works for you.

Prompts:

• Review all the information below
• Which thinking style/technique appeals most to you and why?
• Try using a different style/technique and see what happens

Creative Thinking Styles

Aesthetic thinking
This type of thinking is what you exercise when you look at a painting. What are its strengths? Weaknesses? What stands out about it? Did the painter do something to highlight that aspect?
This style may be best exercised visually, but it can be applied to anything.

• Example: Providing feedback on a co-worker’s presentation by talking about how well what they did worked and not what they could have done differently.

Divergent thinking
You might be looking for only one good idea, but sometimes, you get the best single idea by coming up with as many ideas as possible. This process nudges your mind away from the path of least resistance, which might keep you stuck in a creative rut.

• Example: Thinking of ten different places you might have your retreat other than the same location you used last year.

Convergent thinking
This thinking style is the manifestation of keeping things simple. You clearly define the problem or goal and use logic to rule out all but the most straightforward option.

• Example: Deciding that saving money is a priority and narrowing down office upgrade ideas based on cost.

Inspirational thinking
This thinking style involves mining ideas and solutions you love to find what you can use.

• Example: Thinking about how you can adapt what you admire in someone else’s work for your own.

Creative Exploration Techniques

Reframing
The same photograph can look wildly different depending on what kind of frame you put it in. This technique involves imagining all the different ways you can look at one thing and seeing where that blue-sky process takes you.

• Tip: Direct your brainstorm with statements starting with, “What if…”

Mind Mapping
This associative thinking technique involves quickly writing all the words and ideas that come into your mind as you’re approaching a problem or project. After all the ideas are on the page, you review everything and look for connections and patterns that tie seemingly unrelated ideas together. Usable ideas often emerge in this part of the process.

Insight Chasing
This technique is a little like gardening. Following all the steps and rules might not make your seeds grow or grow well, but it certainly helps.

• Step 1: Research. Gather all the information you can.
• Step 2: Dedicated brainstorming.
• Step 3: Break to allow unconscious thinking

Ideally, insight arrives during the unconscious thinking step, hitting you suddenly while you’re in the shower. After that, you develop that core insight into a usable strategy.

LEVEL UP

Feel more warm and fuzzy with your co-workers

TOGETHER WITH MIRO

Share the good vibes at work 💕

1. Log into your free Miro account (or sign up for one)
2. Open the Compliments Board template. You can customize the template with your team’s name and colors to make it feel more personal.
3. Share the board with your team and encourage them to leave compliments for their colleagues. You can also set a regular schedule for sharing compliments, like a “Compliment Friday” to end the week on a positive note.

Start giving your team compliments

WATERCOOLER TALK

What to pack for a red-eye flight

• Eye mask (You might be surprised how well they really help you sleep)
• Multiple headphones with different jacks
• Ear plugs
• iPad (for enjoying soothing entertainment whether or not the flight offers it)
• Empty water bottle for easy in-flight refills
• Toothbrush/toothpaste
• Hydrating facial cream
• Hydrating lip balm
• Facial wipes
• Moisturizing eye drops
• Thick, cozy socks
• At least 2 healthy snacks
• Wraparound neck pillow
• Hand sanitizer
• Airborne/Emergen-C

PARTNER PICKS

NEW & NOTEWORTHY

Latest Listings

• Project Ronin is hiring for a People Operations Generalist (Remote).
• Health Services Integration is hiring for an Ambulance Billing Manager (Phoenix, AZ).
• ZipRecruiter is hiring for a Sr. Financial Analyst (Seattle, WA).
• Workday is hiring for a Principal, North America Site Experience & Events (Atlanta, GA or Chicago, IL).
• Lush is hiring for a Data Privacy Projects Coordinator (Vancouver, Canada).

SPILL THE TEA

Hooray, You Made It to the End of Our Newsletter!

Riddle me this: A girl has as many brothers as sisters, but each brother has only half as many brothers as sisters. How many brothers and sisters are there in the family?

⭐ Answer here.