YOU DO YOU
Feeling low on self-esteem? Patch it with concrete
Think of low self-esteem as your inner drama queen. It moans that everything is “absolutely the worst,” including your own beautiful, brilliant self. Like the most skilled drama queens, it has a knack for hyperbole.
Unfortunately, unlike the friend who claims to have eaten like 1,000 bao, you tend to actually believe that inner voice when it tells you everyone thinks you suck. It can convince you to warp positive events and compliments into more ways to insult yourself.
They only said I did a good job because they feel sorry for me.
Shut her up with concrete thinking.
Concrete thinking revolves around outer reality—observations governed by your sense of smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch.
Your inner drama queen’s brand of abstract thinking revolves around inner reality—assumptions based on ideas, feelings, and other intangibles.
Concrete thinking helps people suffering from low self-esteem stop turning good things into bad things.
Inner drama queen: They only said I did a good job because they feel sorry for me.
Concrete thinker: What behaviors suggest they feel sorry for you?
Inner drama queen: I could just tell by their faces!
Concrete thinker: What kinds of expressions were they making?
The conversation could go on for a while, but you’re not going to let that inner drama queen win are you?
TOGETHER WITH GROUPTOGETHER
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What to say when you’re asking for a raise
Laura Fredericks, author of Hard Asks Made Easy: How to Get Exactly What You Want among other motivational reads, has a secret sauce, or really a secret formula, for asking for a raise.
In an issue of Diversity Woman Magazine she revealed her simple go-to template for actually making the ask.
It’s not complicated or confrontational, just two statements and a question:
Statement 1: “As you know, the purpose of this meeting is to talk to you about a raise, where I’m asking for X amount by Y date.”
Statement 2: “I know you probably have a lot of questions.”
Question: “What are your questions?”
This conversation template makes the actual “ask” easy. Preparing to answer all the questions that might come up is a bit harder.
Focus your efforts on this overarching goal: Make provable connections between what you’re accomplishing and what the decision makers care about.
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Self discipline is like a good sense of humor. You either have it or you don’t, right?
When it comes to self discipline, “to have or not to have” is not the question. If you want it, you can get it.
Here are 6 pillars of self discipline to remember and cultivate:
Pillar 1: Routine
Routine creates a beautiful shield that protects you from making quick decisions. Build and follow a routine around what life areas you want to be more disciplined about. For example, if you’re hoping to visit the gym more frequently, establish a regular routine to follow with your health-nut friend.
Pillar 2: Acceptance
If you’re trying to start waking up earlier after years of being a late riser and finding it hard, do not deny, suppress, or fight your tendencies. That just puts you in a bad mood. It doesn’t get you out of bed earlier.
Accept that your current preference is sleeping in and resolve to work with that. Okay, I love sleeping in, so what can I do to love waking up early just as much? The answer might be a special morning ritual or treat. Once you accept you need a little help reaching your goal, the answer will come.
Pillar 3: Control
There are many things in this world that you have no control over. You are not one of them. You—not other people, events, or magic—have control over you. Blaming outside factors gives them control. Take it back.
Listen for these keywords: “If only…”
Instead of: If only my friends hadn’t made me feel guilty about missing the party, I would have stayed in and finished my homework.
Admit: I chose to have fun instead of finishing my homework, but I’m ready to deal with the consequences.
Pillar 4: Willpower
If you think of self discipline overall as a muscle, then willpower is your barbell. Even if you didn’t manage to resist eating that second donut today, putting deliberate effort into trying to resist made that muscle a little stronger. Keep trying, and eventually, doing whatever is your equivalent to lifting 200 pounds will feel easy.
Pillar 5: Foresight
Foresight is as essential to self discipline as a destination is to the operation of Google Maps. If you can’t tell it where you want to go, then it won’t get you anywhere. If you can’t effectively picture the benefits of your discipline, then you’re not very likely to practice it.
Pillar 6: Strategies
Observe what you struggle with and brainstorm strategies that might help you work through those struggles. For example, if you’re struggling to save that $5,000 you intended to, you might need to break down your strategy for meeting that goal into daily incremental steps.
February is Black History Month
The theme for 2024 is African Americans and the Arts. The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture compiled a comprehensive collection to celebrate some of the artists who were and are agents of social change.
Here’s just a short sampling of writers, visual artists, and musicians to remember and appreciate throughout the month-long celebration.
Stuff we’re loving rn
🗣️ Our team is fully remote, so Slack has been essential for our team to communicate throughout the day. It also helps us feel less isolated — did we mention you can communicate in gifs?
🎉 Speaking of remote, if you’re looking for some fun virtual experiences for your team, check out Confetti. They have tons of experiences to choose from and can fit any team size and budget.
🗓️ Sick of all the emails just to schedule a meeting? Send a Calendly link and save yourself the back and forth.
🧦 If you’re into Yoga or Pilates (or if you’re a bit clumsy and have wood floors), these grip socks are under $10 and come in 3 neutral colors.
BEFORE YOU GO
Riddle Me This
I am something people love or hate. I change people’s appearances and thoughts. If a person takes care of himself/herself, I will go up even higher. To some people, I will fool them. To others, I am a mystery. Some people might want to try and hide me but I will show. No matter how hard people try I will never go down. What am I?
⭐ Answer here.
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🚨 Job Openings:
- Skybound Entertainment is hiring for a Public Relations Coordinator (Los Angeles/Remote).
- Skybound Entertainment is hiring for a Sr. Public Relations Manager – Video Games (Los Angeles/Remote)
- YPO is hiring for an Events Manager – Leadership Services (Remote).
- Smartsheet is hiring for an Executive Assistant (Remote).