YOU DO YOU
You need this to get what you want
Assertiveness. “Doing you” and getting what you want hinges on this quality, this ability to communicate your thoughts, feelings, needs, and opinions in clear, honest, and respectful ways.
While some people are naturally more assertive than others, assertiveness is not a fixed personality trait.
It is a learnable social skill. It is a behavior you practice—not something you are or are not.
Consider the statements below. If you agree with more than a few, then you might benefit from some assertiveness practice:
- People frequently misunderstand key points I try to make.
- I often agree to do things I don’t want to do.
- I find expressing disagreement challenging.
- I often hide my true feelings to avoid confrontation and unpleasantness.
- I find it hard to clearly explain what I want and why.
- I avoid challenging others, even when my own best interests are on the line.
- It’s hard to remember the last time I directly asked for something I wanted.
- I feel like I have to explain or justify my decisions.
- I’m not sure who I need to approach to get what I want.
Here’s how to practice your assertiveness:
Reflect on what you stand to gain by being assertive.
Assertiveness has a key prerequisite: Awareness of what you want and why you want it.
Start writing down outcomes and changes you want to see in your life. Is anyone crucial to your chances of accomplishing this? Brainstorm ways you might approach them to discuss your plans.
Get better at “identifying your position.”
Practice framing simple declarative sentences in your head throughout the day.
For example….
When you identify a new want or need: I want ________ because __________________.
When you disagree with someone: I think ________ because __________________.
When you have a strong positive or negative emotional reaction to something: I feel ________ because __________________.
When you get better at quickly and easily labeling what you want, then move on to speaking your declarations out loud.
This is called self-disclosure, and you can practice in casual situations until it feels comfortable.
💡Tip! If you don’t know how you feel about something, it’s not a cue to get overwhelmed and panic. Instead, it’s simply a cue to ask questions to get the information you need.
Hone your directness.
Work on making your communication style more direct. Assertive statements are:
- Brief
- Clear
- Firm
- Honest
- Explaining or justifying your assertion without being prompted to.
- Apologizing for your assertion.
- Peppering your assertion with exaggerations and generalities, such as “always” and “never.”
Be a little less agreeable.
Cozy up to the idea of disagreeing with people.
The key is to disagree respectfully and unemotionally. Focus on what you think. Do not reject, attack, or criticize the person or point you’re disagreeing with. (You can even express your opinion without commenting on the other opinion at all.)
Lead with something like I think, I feel, or in my opinion.
TOGETHER WITH CLICKUP
Quit Wasting Time In Meetings
Meetings should be productive and collaborative.
But without a plan, that’s not always the case.
Whether it’s a homeroom PTA meeting, a general staff meeting, or an executive board meeting, save effort and time for all attendees using the Agenda Template.
It’s designed to help you make the most of your meetings by giving you everything you need to:
- Outline topics, objectives, and goals
- Break down tasks and action items
- Assign responsibilities between teams members
Keep everyone on the same page and accountable for their work, so that every meeting is successful and productive.
👉 Get the free Agenda template today.
GET MORE SH*T DONE
These women want to make your life easier
February 11 is the International Day of Women and Girls in Science.
The United Nations observance spotlights highs and lows on the path toward global gender equality in Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) fields.
Representation in major tech fields, including artificial intelligence, is one key area for improvement. Currently, women represent only about 22% of all professionals in these fields.
Get more sh*t done while celebrating the amazing women already making waves in these historically male-dominated fields.
Check out these life-changing solutions from women-led startups and orgs:
- What it simplifies: Securely saving and investing online.
- Who to thank: Odunayo Eweniyi (Co-founder and COO)
- What it simplifies: Building and managing your own mentoring program.
- Who to thank: Lucy Lloyd (CEO and co-founder), Heidi Holmes (COO and co-founder), and Tracy Marie Powell (VP of engineering)
- What it simplifies: Finding (and securely paying) childcare providers you can trust.
- Who to thank: Shadiah Sigala (Co-founder and CEO) and Brittney Barrett (Head of Marketing)
TOGETHER WITH BONUSLY
A Fun V-Day Activity For Your Team
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with your team tomorrow and grab this free Valentine’s Day Ad-Libs Template.
The Ad-Libs template includes:
- 😆 A hilarious activity that you can share with your employees to help them recognize one another.
- ✅ An interactive PDF that lets you fill in the blanks.
- 💚 Two different Valentines for work to show appreciation for coworkers and managers.
LEVEL UP
An invisible root of racism at work
One aspect of leadership is accepting that you and your organization have blindspots, and doing your due diligence to identify them.
The nonprofit Catalyst recently published a report—How Racism Shows Up at Work and the Antiracist Actions Your Organization Can Take—as part of their World of Voices research series.
They identified a common blindspot that allows racism to persist within organizations: White defaults.
The report’s authors define white defaults as “the underlying assumption that what employees should look and sound like, how people should carry themselves and interact with others, and whose skills are worthy and whose are not should follow historical White standards and habits.”
The report details a variety of possible solutions for finding and addressing White defaults throughout organizations. We’re focusing on just one that anyone at any level can act on to demonstrate their leadership potential: Propose a comprehensive audit to your organization’s performance review process.
Start by asking if and when your current performance review processes were last reviewed.
- Who reviewed them?
- What criteria did they use to ensure equity?
Explain that another review, conducted by an outside firm or a representative internal group, could make your organization’s advancement decisions more equitable.
Catalyst suggests a few specific things to look at when evaluating performance review processes:
- Does the performance criteria revolve around White defaults of thinking, behaving, addressing conflict, and handling authority?
- Is performance evaluated using clear, measurable metrics?
- Is performance evaluated against clearly defined goals?
- Do the reviews generate specific, constructive feedback about actions and behaviors instead of personality traits?
WATERCOOLER TALK
Lunar New Year
Lunar New Year starts on Saturday, February 10th, the first new moon of the lunar calendar.
Years in the lunar calendar are symbolized by one of 12 zodiac animals and one of the 5 elements.
2024: The Year of the Wood Dragon
The wood dragon symbolizes power, nobility, honor, luck, and success. Its year is thought to be a lucky time to pursue change and opportunity.
You make your own luck, of course, but what does the idea of having more luck inspire you to pursue?
Think about it! 2024 sounds like the perfect year to go for it.
STAFF PICKS
Stuff we’re loving rn
💌 Start your morning with the Just Women’s Sports newsletter, the top 3 stories in women’s sports delivered straight to your inbox 3 days a week.
📅 Did you know Google Cal has a scheduling tool now? Eliminate the back and forth emails and send a link instead for easy scheduling with clients or teammates.
🎨 Whether you need to spin up invitations, beautiful social media posts, or other creative designs, Canva’s our top choice.
📥 We’re loving Sanebox because it gets rid of inbox clutter. A.I. identifies important emails and automatically organizes the rest to help you stay focused. It’s a smart, trainable inbox assistant
BEFORE YOU GO
Riddle Me This
What is stronger than steel but can’t handle the sun?
⭐ Answer here.
Latest Listings
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- Kalamazoo Public Schools is hiring for a Special Education Coordinator (Kalamazoo, MI). Apply Here.
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- Leavitt Group Texas Select is hiring for a Personal Lines Account Manager (Sugar Land & Houston, TX).
- Close is hiring for a Head of Demand Generation (Remote).
- Epson is hiring for a Senior Project Manager, Market Research (Remote).