Weekender Issue #96

I’m a tango dancer.

When I first started, I felt bad for my partners. I was awkward and clunky and I had a hard time picking up on the subtle and nuanced lead required in tango.

One day, a more experienced tango dancer told me about the rule of ⅓:

Dance ⅓ of your dances with people who are as skilled as you (for joy).

Dance ⅓ of your dances with people who are more skilled than you (for growth).

Dance ⅓ of your dances with people who are less skilled than you (for the community).

The idea that people were choosing to dance with me as a way to ensure and foster continuance and growth of the community put my mind at ease. It also allowed me to improve, find my own style, and create meaningful friendships.

I would like for us all to view mentorship in a similar way. The purpose of mentorship is to glean wisdom and insight from someone further down their path, even if that path isn’t an exact match for what you want.

If you’re interested in receiving mentorship in terms of your role or career path, here are the strategies I’ve found work best:

• Make the first move and develop a relationship. The best mentors I’ve ever had were totally open to sharing their experiences with me but I had to ask the questions. Don’t sit around waiting for someone to offer to mentor you. This is your life and career. Make the first move and invite them to coffee or ask if you can have 30 minutes of their time.
• Authenticity counts. I was genuinely curious about my mentors and it was apparent that I admired their success. Generally, people are open to helping people who take a genuine interest and hold them in high regard.
• Invest in the relationship. When you go to coffee with your mentor, pay. If you have the opportunity to go to lunch, pay. Happy hour? Pay. They are investing their time, and doing it without expecting anything in return. Even though they don’t expect it, paying shows gratitude.

If you don’t have anyone currently in your life that you feel comfortable approaching, take heart! I have several mentors that I’ve never actually met. People I admire who share their insight and wisdom all the time with me. I heard a podcast years ago where the podcaster shared that she considered Tony Robbins a mentor. When she would talk about him she would say things like, “Tony Robbins once told me… “ or “Tony once shared with me…” Can this kind of mentor give you personal feedback, no. Even still, given the purpose of mentorship I’ve shared, “to glean wisdom and insight from someone further down their path”, I wholeheartedly consider this mentorship.

Just as you can benefit from having a mentor, you can also benefit from imparting wisdom and insight you’ve gained throughout your career. Articulating your wisdom and insight to a mentee will not only improve your self-concept as a kickass professional, it will also serve to solidify your personal evolution and expertise for you.

One final thing to note. The byproducts of mentorship have the possibility to change our industry narrative. When administrative professionals are challenged to consider possibilities for themselves they previously hadn’t been made aware of, possibility and advocacy will inevitably create new verticles and paths forward for all of us. The next evolution of our industry lies within each and every administrative professional. It only takes the willingness to use our voices and share what we’ve discovered.

Dance ⅓ of your dances with someone who is less skilled, and ⅓ of your dances with someone who is more skilled. There is no downside.

To learn more about Annie, please visit her website: WholeAssistant.com or connect with her on LinkedIn.