OG Tuesday Issue #312

🌿 Your libido is probably fine, just not what you expected.

🎁 Stress-relief gifts for HR because they deal with everyone else’s problems all day.

💳 A $200 credit card spree can cost your college kid $500 later.

💼 Researchers want a digital-age rethink of how women get business support.

On paper you’re doing everything right. You hit your goals, your reviews come back fine, and you’re still watching people with half your output collect the title you want.

Early on, output gets you promoted. Higher up, the work is table stakes, and what moves you is whether the people who decide know you, trust you, and can already picture you in the bigger role. That’s a people skill, and it’s a different muscle than the one that got you here. It has a name: executive presence.

Here’s where it gets rigged for us. The more competent a woman is seen to be, the less likable she tends to be judged. The same directness that reads as “decisive leadership” on a man gets you branded “a lot.” And if you’re neurodivergent, much of what passes for likability is social fluency graded on a neurotypical curve.

The higher you climb, the more polite everyone gets, so the signals go underground. Four worth watching:

• Courtesy but not warmth. You’re invited and thanked, rarely sought out.

• You’re the last to know. Decisions reach you late or secondhand.

• Your ideas get waved off, then praised when someone else says them later.

• The hard feedback dried up. People stopped telling you the truth.

One weird week means nothing. A pattern means it’s time to ask, and to sit with the possibility that part of this is you.

Book a real conversation with your manager and give them permission to be blunt: “Tell me straight, no sugarcoating.” Don’t leave without three to five concrete things to work on, plus what “ready for the next level” actually looks like. “Be more strategic” is not feedback.

Here’s the tell most people miss: getting passed over and handed a specific development plan is a vote of confidence in disguise. Getting the runaround instead is the red flag.

For a peer read, ask three people you trust: “When have I made a room harder to be in, and when have I made it better?”

Then there’s what you do with the answer. Likability is mostly small repeatable habits, all learnable:

• Use people’s names. It reads as attention, because it is.

• Listen without rehearsing your reply.

• Follow up on what they told you.

• Champion people when they’re not in the room. It gets back to them.

• Share what you learn. Generosity compounds.

• Stay out of the gossip.

And start early on sponsors. Promotions run on someone with power saying your name in a room you’re not in.

Some of the reasons genuinely aren’t fair, and none of this fixes that. What it gives you is information instead of guesswork.

You want to send something — a thank-you, a client win, a “welcome to the team” — and then the spiral starts. You don’t have their address, you’re not sure what they’d actually like, and whatever you pick is going to get shipped to someone who may never use it.

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“My biggest challenge right now is advancing my career while balancing life as a solo parent and the sole breadwinner. Living paycheck to paycheck is a current reality, and I am ready to transition into a higher-level role, though I am finding that difficult in my current situation.” — Megan B.

Megan, this is a season with a specific job to do. It asks for real sacrifice, real discipline, and a willingness to do hard things for a defined stretch so you can get to the other side of it. The only way through it is through it.

That does not mean it has to be chaotic. Here’s how to make it strategic.

Get your finances as lean as possible

Before you can create any breathing room, you need a clear picture of where every dollar is going. Build a bare-bones budget (necessities only) and cut anything that doesn’t directly support your stability or your goals right now. This is a temporary setting, and you get to change it back.

Even freeing up a small amount each month creates options. Options are what let you invest in yourself without going further into the hole.

Go after the higher-paying role directly

The fastest route to real financial relief is landing a role that pays you what you’re worth, so start the search now, even if you don’t feel completely ready. Readiness gets built in the process.

Tell everyone you know that you’re looking. Former colleagues, friends, acquaintances, your neighbor who works somewhere you’d consider. Most roles get filled through someone who knows someone, and a direct conversation moves faster than any application portal.

Upskill in the windows you actually have

If a skills gap is standing between you and the next level, look for the shortest credible path to closing it. Weekend certifications, intensive bootcamps, and four-to-eight-week online programs exist across almost every industry.

A targeted, stackable credential that speaks directly to the role you’re going after is enough to move the needle. You don’t need a two-year commitment, and you don’t have time for one anyway.

Call in your support network, even just once a month

Solo parenting during a career push is one of the hardest things to do, and you were not built to do it entirely alone. Look at your family and friends and ask yourself who could give you a two-hour window once or twice a month. A grandparent who takes your kid on a Saturday. A friend who covers an afternoon. A neighbor who does a school pickup swap.

Two hours of uninterrupted focus is worth more than you think. Ask for it specifically, not generally. People want to help when they know exactly what you need.

Remember what this season is for

This is a chapter with a specific goal: get to higher ground financially so that you have more choices. Every sacrifice you make right now is in service of a version of your life that has more room in it. You’re building something 💪.

You’ve had the idea for a while. Maybe two years. What stops you is the unknowns: what it costs to start, how many hours it really eats, and whether anyone is actually making money at it.

HubSpot’s Side Hustle Ideas Database lays out 100 of them in one place so you can compare a handful honestly instead of googling one at a time at 11pm. It’s sorted by the skills each one needs, which means you can start from what you’re already good at.

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👑 Work Wisdom of the Week:

“Stop waiting to be discovered and start making yourself findable.”

Judy Curtis, EVP, SIPR Encore

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